Why Brilliant Women Apply for Roles They've Already Outgrown and How to Break the Pattern

23 Apr

I had a conversation recently with a woman who’s ready to move on from a role that’s stifling her.
She’s frustrated by the lack of autonomy, the diminishing benefits, and the sense that her potential is being quietly dismissed.

But here’s the part that hit me the most—she’s applying for roles that pay less than her current job.
Roles that offer fewer benefits.
And roles she’s, frankly, overqualified for.

Not because she isn’t ambitious.
Not because she lacks skill, experience, or presence.
But because somewhere along the line, she stopped expecting more.

And she’s not alone.

This Is What Happens When “Safety” Becomes the Goal

Many of the women I coach—bright, strategic, values-led—are playing smaller than they realise.

They apply for roles that feel safe, familiar, or “in reach” rather than roles that would actually stretch them.
They remove power words from their CVs.
They underplay leadership.
They talk about “teams they've supported” instead of “teams they’ve led.”

Why?

Because we’ve been conditioned—deeply and often unconsciously—to:

Seek approval instead of alignment
Wait to feel 100% qualified before applying
Avoid seeming “too much”
Prioritise comfort over growth

And when that internalised narrative kicks in, we start choosing roles we’ve already outgrown.

This Isn’t About Confidence. It’s About Conditioning.

I say this with love:
If you’re applying for roles you could do with your eyes closed, that’s not strategy.
That’s self-protection.

And if you’re accepting lower pay, fewer benefits, or less autonomy for the sake of certainty—it’s time to check in with the version of you who decided that’s all she could have.

3 Ways to Break the Pattern

1. Reconnect with Your Real Value

Strip the job titles away. Forget the internal politics. Ask yourself:

What have I actually built, led, solved, or changed?

Write it down. Say it out loud. Let yourself take credit.

2. Apply for Stretch Roles Before You Feel Ready

If you’re waiting for a sign that you’re “qualified enough”—this is it.
No one grows in a role that feels safe on day one.
The next-level version of you is waiting for you to step, not stall.

3. Use Your CV and LinkedIn to Reflect Your Power, Not Just Your Presence

Your CV isn’t a diary. It’s a value statement.
Start with impact. Use active language.
You didn’t “assist.” You led. You created. You delivered.

The Real Risk? Staying Small

Every time you lower your salary expectations to feel safer...
Every time you rewrite your story to seem less intimidating...
Every time you apply for a job that won’t grow you...

You reinforce a narrative that says:
This is all I’m allowed to have.

But that story isn’t yours.
It was given to you.

And you’re allowed to put it down now.

Final Thought

You’re not broken for craving more.
You’re not ungrateful for wanting better.
And you’re not too much for wanting a role that reflects your brilliance.

You don’t need to wait to feel ready.
You just need to trust the part of you that knows.

You’ve outgrown playing small.

It’s time to apply like the leader you already are.

Laura Bridgeman